My son has ADHD

"My son has ADHD."

I never know what kind of reaction I will get with those words.  Accusatory looks from people who assume I'm a bad parent.  Looks of sympathy from other ADHD moms.  Misplaced advice that starts with "Have you tried.....?"  Yes, we have and no, it didn't work.

I am actually giving them the shortened version because most people don't want to hear it.  But my son has ADHD, OCD, SPD, gross motor delays, and is possibly gifted.

My life is exhausting some days.

American Girl underwear

I’m sitting here, looking online at underwear for a doll that costs more than the underwear I buy for myself.

Why?  Because it’s an American Girl doll.  And my daughter needed one, because all of her friends have them and she got left out when they play with them.  And I’m a sucker.

But really….why are these dolls so expensive?  And why are their accessories so expensive?  It’s a doll.  You wouldn’t have caught me playing with a doll at 11 years old. 

And….why do these dolls have an almost cult-like following?  Especially among adults?  That’s right, adults.  I was browsing a forum this morning where people were selling dolls and accessories and one person had listed a doll for sale because she had not “bonded” with the doll.  What?!?  This is not a child or a dog.  It’s a doll.

And then….Katrina and I were at Target this weekend and I offered to buy her an outfit for her AG doll.  Of course, the outfits were in the aisle with the knock-off dolls….and she tells me that she would have been happy with one of those.  And then I seriously wanted to kick myself.

I just don’t get it.  At that age I was watching Star Trek and making a to-scale model of the solar system on the ceiling in my bedroom. 

Although I did see someone selling a ST:TOS uniform for these dolls the other day…..

For years, my daughter told me that she didn’t like to read.  I tried threatening her.  I tried rewarding her.  I bought her tons of different books only to be told they were “boring.”

And then one day last year she came home with a book she liked.   It was Captain Underpants.

A lot of parents would have been horrified.  They say that Captain Underpants is “gross” and “toilet humor.”

I was beyond thrilled.  My reluctant reader was reading.

I am a voracious reader.  I have over 200 Star Trek paperbacks alone, and I have read them all.  The fact that my daughter had proclaimed for years that she didn’t like to read was a constant thorn in my side.  I simply do not understand people who don’t like to read.

Since that day, I’ve become well-versed in books written in comic book style.  And to try to help my daughter explore her interests in that area, I took her to Free Comic Book Day.  And lo and behold, we found other women who like comics!  Yay!

Seriously though, finding women who like comics, science fiction, or anything else "geeky" can be a serious endeavor in our very rural, conservative area.  But they are out there.

And...I was conned into buying my daughter two Doctor Who comics and a poster.  

But if she reads them.....I will be thrilled.  And I will buy more.  And one of these days, my daughter may read a "real" book and enjoy it.  But I will be forever grateful to Captain Underpants for showing her that not all books are boring.  

Showering

My life has become all about how long I can stay in the shower before someone needs me.  I don't dare shower while I'm home alone with the kids.  Any mother who is home alone nightly with small children will tell you that you cannot shower while they are running around the house.  In the time that it takes me to shower, my children would ransack the toy room, draw all over the computer monitor, feed the dogs 20 milkbones a piece, and eat every last chocolate chip cookie in the kitchen.  So I wait until they are asleep to shower.  But this plan still doesn't always work - invariable I will be all soapy and warm and hear a heart-wrenching "Mooooommmmmmm!!!!" only to hurry up and half rinse off, grab my robe, run upstairs...and find that they're already back to sleep.  And tonight, as I was finishing up my shower, I heard someone pushing on the bathroom door.  Of course, my mind immediately leaps to the serial killer that I just know is out there.  I calm down, reassuring myself that if someone came in the house the dogs would bark.  The dogs bark if someone walks down the sidewalk and looks at the house, so I'm pretty sure they'd bark if someone actually came inside.  So I finish my shower, get out, and open the door...only to discover that it's the dog that wants in the bathroom.  So even when the kids manage to sleep all of the way through my shower, the dog apparently can't.  That's when I realized that my life has been reduced to seeing how long I can actually take an uninterrupted shower.  And maybe, someday, I'll actually be able to take a nice, long, relaxing bath.  Hey, a mom can dream, right?

Messy house, happy kids

I used to take a lot of grief from my husband’s mother about the fact that they would come over and my house would be messy, there would be dishes in the sink, etc.  I don’t take grief about it anymore because they don’t come over much and if they do have anything to say about it I just say that it’s none of their business and won’t listen to it.  But I don’t understand why their house was never messy when the kids were growing up.  My house is messy because I like to spend time doing things with my kids.  For example, this summer we would eat supper outside a lot and then they would want me to push them on the swings or play on the trampoline with them.  According to my mother-on-law’s thinking I should clean up the patio, go inside and do the dishes, clean the stove, etc. first.  By the time I would finish with all of that there would be no time left to play with the kids.  So how can I say no to my kids?  When the kids want me to lay in their beds with them and read another book or three to them when I should be downstairs cleaning the house – how can I say no?  I truthfully believe that when the kids are older they won’t remember if the dishes were done or if the floor was swept, but they will remember that their mom took the time to play with them, to read to them, or to just spend time with them.  They will remember that they were important to me, and I believe that is the most important thing of all.

I had some requests for a copy of Katrina's new "chore chart" so here it is.  It is working very well for us so far.